There is still so much that we don’t know about you. Yet, we celebrate you every year by shoving copious amounts of food into our faces. Why don’t we take the time out of watching football and eating to discuss what is at the center of your holiday? After all, you are an American tradition.
I’ve also noticed that a lot of the facts we think we know, are false. Here is what I’ve found so far:
Turkey does not make you sleepy. If Turkey makes you sleepy, then so should eat: chicken, pork, fish, seaweed, spinach, and some cheeses because they all contain the amino acid Tryptophan (which claims to induce sleep).
Turkeys are also pretty useless birds unless you are eating them (or putting them on your head in an attempts to apologize to your current boyfriend). They have poor night vision, can have heart attacks, can’t fly if raised commercially, and females don’t even gobble like we were led to believe.
I was also surprised to learn that even what we eat is wrong. The first time celebrating, you didn’t have our typical food staples (Turkey, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, and cranberry sauce). Instead, the pilgrims were more likely to have eaten: seafood, small forest animals, squashes, beans, chestnuts, various nuts, onions, leeks, and dried fruits to name a few. To be honest, I’m not sure I would mind having lobster to celebrate.
And another thing… Benjamin Franklin wanted our national bird to be the Turkey instead of the Bald Eagle. In my opinion, he was struck by lightning too hard. Maybe you disagree though?
I know I called you an American holiday earlier, but it seems that Robin Sparkles disagrees. Canada also celebrates you! However, you are held on the second Monday in October instead of the fourth Thursday of November.
While these facts were funny to find out, I wanted you to know that I appreciate what’s really going on: being thankful. You offer this time each year for us to gather and reflect on all the we have. To be thankful for family, friends, school, and everything else under the sun.
In closing, I think it’s only fair to share an embarrassing holiday tradition with you. Every time we celebrate you, my mom takes to singing (not very good singing I might add). Regardless, she sings this one particular song every year. It goes a little something like this:
Thanks for hearing me out and I can’t wait to see you on the 26th!