You Know You’ve Hit Rock Bottom When…

You know you’ve hit rock bottom (for a college student) when you fill out a food log for class, and for 4 of the 5 days, at least one of your meals was pizza and breadsticks.

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Guys, I am a senior in college. In just over 8 months, I am expected to be a mature adult who can feed, bathe, clothe, and sustain herself. (Okay, I can do pretty much all of those except feed myself.) I thought I was on the right track until this International Food and Culture class started.

I can whip up some Kraft Mac and Cheese if I have to, and Hamburger Helper is, indeed, a big help to me. I can even do some chicken and rice without a recipe. In general, I can cook food enough to feed myself. It’s not organic and it’s not gourmet, but it gets the job done. I thought I was doing alright, but man, the people in this class are so sophisticated!

One guy was talking about how he likes to press garlic and put garlic on his food (I don’t even know where you would find garlic in the grocery store). Another girl says “no matter what I”m eating, I like it to look nice. I’ll always put a garnish or something on my food to make it look good.”

I’M SORRY- WHAT?! Am I the only person whose schedule is completely over-packed? Am I the only one who can’t even summon enough energy to put frozen food in the microwave after a day of going to class and work? Apparently. I turned in my food log, filled with pizza and breadsticks, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and restaurant leftovers, feeling pretty terrible about myself.

Compared to these garlic and garnish aficionados, I look like a total fattie who gorges herself on junk food every night of the week. (The 4 nights of pizza were all leftovers from one purchase, though: my whole paycheck isn’t spent on Papa Johns.) I feel like, as a future career woman, I can’t continue eating like this. I have to start pressing garlic, using parsley, and smoking salmon. Holy moly!

I’m going to enjoy my last 8 months of eating non-gourmet meals, while I cry myself to sleep thinking that one day I’ll have to cook real food. Does anyone else share my sentiments, or does everyone else already cook for real?

Paige Whipple

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