Oh lord Jesus it’s a fire! If you haven’t seen it yet you may have been too busy watching Harlem Shake Videos or even creating them. OR you could just be stuck waiting in the Den Sandwich line. Regardless, check out the world-famous video here! Sweeping the nation by way of memes, remixes, and unnecessary references by your friends, “Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That” has certainly caught our attention. Here are 8 things at Towson that ain’t nobody got time for…
1. Slow Walkers
For fans of The Walking Dead, this may sound advantageous. It’s not. We’ve all been there: you’re walking to class and suddenly you approach a herd of Stage 9 Slowpokes, and you have to make a choice: join them or breach societal etiquette and (Gasp!) pass them. WHY DON’T THESE PEOPLE HAVE ANYWHERE TO GO? Dang man, ain’t nobody got time for that
2. On-Campus Food Lines
It’s 12:15pm and you just got out of MCOM202 (sec 005). You’re hungry. Breakfast wasn’t an option because SOMEONE ate those Wild Berry Poptarts you had sitting on the fridge and you thought you guys had this food situation all worked out after the Fruity Pebbles predicament last month… But that’s beside the point. Man, I need a new roommate. Oh, yeah, about the lines. The omelet line at Commons can get SO long. And, well, ain’t nobody got time for that.
If I had a nickel for every time tu-guest logged me off of my phone this week I would have 22 nickels. Not even close to enough to cover my 3G data plan. Logging on to WiFi over and over again can be such a pain, especially when students love checking Facebook and Twitter more than the Beatles love baseball. (Don’t believe us, click HERE.) 45 valuable seconds of our social media lives wasted on logging into the internet? There ain’t no way anybody’s got time for that!
16 seconds: Enough time to tie your shoes. Enough time to brush your teeth (right?) But somehow, those 16 seconds we have to cross over Osler Drive are not even close to enough time! We’ve got places to go, people to see and Chick-fil-A to eat, and we simply don’t have the patience to wait for those cars and trucks to pass. It’s this impatience that turns some students into thrill-seeking daredevils who often heroically cross before it’s their turn. It seems they know better than anyone: ain’t nobody got time for that!
“Cab’s here!” Those two words are music to every student’s ears, especially after a 45 minute wait. Whether it’s the dreaded ‘busy signal’ or a simply unrealistic wait time, nights like this are enough to make you wonder if it might be worth the $300 it costs to keep a car on campus. The only thing worse than this excruciating wait would be showing up to a party that’s already been busted. Because believe me, ain’t nobody got time for that!
Anyone remember “The 8 People You See at Burdick Gym”? Well add another one to the list: The Awkward Waiter (spoiler alert- it’s you). It seems like Burdick has been more and more crowded lately and asking the Lance Armstrong wannabe (sorry, he’s the only biker we know) how much time she has left on the bike can be straight up awkward. But at least an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond is on and… yeah, I guess we got some time for that.
Some day life is going to give us lemons in the form of a real job which means suits, ties, skirts, and dress shoes. We say let’s savor these college days where Uggs and yoga pants or sports hoodies and jeans are acceptable public attire. Besides, dressing nice would mean waking up early and- you guessed it- ain’t nobody got time for that!
8. Signing Guests in After 11pm
One pink slip. One pen. Two friends. One mission: DON’T. MESS. UP. Okay, so you’ve got your friend’s birthday in the right spot. That’s good. Room number, yeah that looks right. Okay now you’ve just gotta sign right-NO NOT THERE! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHYYYYY!!!! “I’m sorry sir but you’re gonna have to fill out a whole new form.” Wow… ain’t nobody got time for that.
We hope you guys DID have time to read this and hope you liked it! Tweet your own lists of things you don’t have time for using #TowsonAintGotTimeFor. Bye!
-Mike Tyson and Ron White