You LOVE finals week. In fact, your old school’s motto was to “treat every week like finals week.” You are so busy running around campus spreading the finals week joy that you actually forget to study until the night before your first exam. Lucky for you, though, with the aid of ungodly amounts of candy and maple syrup you manage to pull off a miraculous all-nighter ensuring a top-notch grade on each of your tests.
How The Grinch Stole Christmas
These past fifteen weeks have been slowly eating away at your soul, leaving you a few face-boils short of a witch. You used to be such an agreeable person but anymore the three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: not very nice. This last week is the only thing standing between you and sanity but you know once that last final is done, in Towson they’ll say “your small Grinch-like heart grew 3 sizes today.”
You’ve written all of you finals dates down in your handy planner and so far you’ve done a pretty good job keeping up with studying. Getting at least a B in your really hard statistics class is a definite as long as you don’t- oh no… you missed your test. Your test was on the 17th but you always hook your 7’s a little odd when you write them, causing you to think it was on the 19th. The only way this week could get worse would be going back to find two filthy, yet incompetent, thieves robbing your apartment.
You are cheating on all of your tests. You might also be drunk.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer
This class sucks. You’ve worked your tail off all year and you still have a C+ average before the final exam; not to mention all the kids in your class call you names. It would take a miracle for you to get an A in the class, or do I dare say… a Christmas miracle. Don’t give up though because in a true underdog story, you are going to find a way to pull off that top grade that you’ve been working for all year. Also you have a cold and your nose is REALLY red.
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation
You promised yourself, along with everyone else that this would be the best finals week ever! All of the studying you’re doing isn’t just for you, but you’ve realized how much your parents love you and have decided to dedicate your tests to them. As luck would have it, though, everything that can go wrong does go wrong. You delete one of your final papers without saving it, you can’t find your chemistry book, and to top it off your floormates are kind of annoyed by the lights you hung in the common room
Frosty the Snowman
Thumpity thump thump, thumpity thump thump, look at you go! There’s no doubt about it, you really know how to kick off finals with a strong start. You’ve slaved away creating notecards for every chapter of every class at a pace that many would describe as magical. Unfortunately though, when it comes to test time, you-just as Frosty- melt down, forgetting all the information you worked so hard to remember.
A Christmas Story
When picking classes last semester you wanted to take 21 credits but everyone told you that you couldn’t. Your mom, your adviser and even Santa Clause told you not to take that many classes, noting that you would “blow your brain up.” In spite of the naysayers you decide that since you are mature you will take the seven classes anyway, hoping to reverse their criticism by the end of the year. What you failed to consider when selecting seven classes was… seven finals. Needless to say with seven tests in five days you do, in the end, blow your brain up.
Just a reminder, don’t forget to visit Towson’s Academic Achievement Office, which provides tutoring, workshops, and study groups, all geared at helping you achieve your desired final grade. You can access their website at http://wwwnew.towson.edu/aac/. Until next time, happy finals week!