Towson Tigers Roar with Laughter

If you guys are like me, usually when I’m laughing, it’s at inappropriate times, like in the middle of lectures when one of my friends cracks a joke and then I have to hold in my laughter. On Friday night, though, I was able to let all of that laughter out at the Comedy Competition put on by CAB (Campus Activities Board) at Paws! Paws seems to be where all the actions at these days, huh?

Everyone was so excited to be there that I almost couldn’t find a spot to sit in! I got one right as the acts started, though. The first act was Dan. He said that there was a no cursing rule, but he broke that within two seconds. Then he talked about how bands are always getting encores while comedians don’t. He said the reason for that is because comedians only write material to fill up the time that they have. Dan said he doesn’t write his material, though. And of course, after telling us this, someone in the audience says, “ENCORE!” Either Dan didn’t hear, or he ignored it because he finished up and left the stage! I never thought about that, though. Next time you guys go to a see a comedian, yell “ENCORE!” and see what happens.

The next act was Brandon. He comfortably came on the stage with a red cup in his hand. It wasn’t a coincidence that Brandon’s act was all about being at the parties! What a good topic. So many crazy things happen at parties, and everyone always comes back with ridiculous stories. One thing that Brandon talked about that was funny was the “white girl drunk step.” He explained that this is when girls are drunk, they are walking and talking to their friends when all of a sudden—plop! They stumble like they lost feeling in their legs and fall to the floor. I’ve definitely seen this happen before. Weird that alcohol doesn’t have this same effect on guys.

Then, there was some awesome comedy trivia in between acts where we could win cool prizes. Do you guys know what comedian grew up in Florida, has a show on Comedy Central, and is known for his racist, sexist and homophobic jokes? If you said Daniel Tosh, you are correct!

The Leonard Brothers were the next act. They started off with the weirdest secret handshake I’ve ever seen. I’m not sure if it would even be considered a handshake because it involved more of dancing and twirling around than shaking hands. These two guys were pretty funny and had props like a yo-yo and a lion puppet to help them get some laughs out of the audience. My favorite part of their act was their polar bear jokes:  “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice! “s’now big deal. Chill out.”

Alex was next. She was the only girl in the whole group of comedians. Are there any funny girls out there reading this? Look out for more events like this one! They really need more of you. Anyways, Alex who is a junior at Towson had an awesome act. She said she chose Towson because she looks good in yellow and there’s a Nordstrom in walking distance. Not gonna lie, the mall kind of drove me to here, too! Alex also talked about how she is going to be graduating on time—meaning she will be coming to graduation on time. And she talked about how the Special K diet isn’t working out for her because all she’s eating is bowls and bowls of cereal!

After Alex’s performance was Zach’s. He talked a lot about how New Jersey sucks. He said that that’s where he’s from but the people here in Maryland are so much nicer. Zach, a freshman, was brave to come out and talk to such a crowded Paws!

The next act was hard to miss. Matt was so tall, and that was what he joked about for his act. He said that being tall is like being black because you’re easy to find in a crowd. He also had some interesting fat jokes. “You’re grandma’s so fat, when she died, three Krispy Kreme’s went out of business. Ouch! I don’t think there were any grandmas on the audience, so we were okay there. Matt’s jokes were definitely a little more provocative than the other comedians so far, but the audience definitely seemed to love it.

Before the next act came on, four volunteers from the audience.  Whoever laughed lost. The last person standing was the winner. I was glad I wasn’t up there because I laugh way too easily! The comedians went up to the audience members doing some silly things. Someone even blew on one of the volunteers. Two of the volunteers couldn’t hold back and were out, leaving two other members. These two were the winners. They both did a short act on the spot. They were great!

The last person to compete was Squirrel. Isn’t that a cool nickname? I wonder if Sam the mouse would get along with him. Anyways, Squirrel told a lot of cool jokes. He talked about how he went on a camping trip that was pretty “intense” or “in tents.” Haha. He also talked about how when he voted in this past election, he voted for who he wanted to be the president, and then guessed on all of the other questions like it was a test. Honestly, I have to admit that I had to guess on one or two referendum questions myself.

After Squirrel was done, the judges voted on the winners of the comedy competition. In third place was Brandon, Matt made second place, and the winner was…Alex! Congratulations Alex! I had a feeling she would win. Sam, who has an awesome sense of humor as you guys have seen, told me that he heard Alex practicing her skit because she works out of the same suite as Student Activities! Alex is the student director for New Student Programs. She is so talented! Everyone did such a good job, and definitely caused some tiger roaring laughter in Paws.

Laughter really was the best medicine for me with all of these exams and papers coming up. Does anyone else feel like their professors are playing a game where they see who can give students the most work before Thanksgiving?

Anyways, with the election just happening and everything, here’s a relevant joke before I sign out: Why did Mr. Redenbacher run for president? He wanted to work in the Orville Office! (Courtesy of Ellen Dengenerous’s classic joke Monday’s) Okay, maybe I’m not the next winner of the comedy competition, but maybe one of you readers are! Look out for more of these competitions and maybe one of you will be making me laugh, too! –Dana Kobilinsky

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